I regard motherhood as the highest calling for a woman, and I am excited about it as my future. If you ask me what I want to be when I grow up, you'll hear "a wife and mother." And if you want to talk about it further, you just might get an earful of enthusiastic speech. If it were possible for you to dive into my thoughts, you might discover quite a file of plans, opinions, ideas, and musings about my future family. I know that in my heart of hearts this is truly my desire... to raise godly offspring to the glory of the Lord.
And... lately I've been learning about my priorities. I can grasp the idea mentioned in an earlier post: "...if we sow a career, we can hardly expect to reap a 'ninja' mom." But, of course, I have some glaring blind spots... one of which the Lord recently pointed out.
By nature, I have many interests. In addition to schoolwork and helping run the house, I sew, design my own sewing patterns, hand-quilt, knit, design my own knitting patterns, play several instruments, write songs, record songs, record harmony-singing learning tracks, blog, enjoy graphic design, publish an e-mailed girls' magazine, keep up correspondence with quite a few people, have written one book, am illustrating it, writing a sequel, and am currently trying to keep myself from also starting an allegory I thought up. I design our volunteer fire district newsletter, video their training, do word-processing for Dad, type his sermons, record his sermons, and occasionally accompany at church. I've dabbled in crochet, embroidery, watercolor painting, lace-knitting, survival skills, film-making, etc.
Sound busy?
Yes, it's a formidable list for a little squirt like myself. But what I had to ask myself was, does a list like that, and more importantly the percentage of time spent on all those interests, reflect my heart's desire? Ehhh...
Not exactly. Don't get me wrong... I'm not saying, "those things will not be useful to me," or "all that knowledge is a waste." What I am saying is I'm essentially using most of my time to sow lots of etcetera. Things that don't directly have anything to do with what is still my heart's desire.
It's not that my heart's desire has been turned toward something else, and I'm no longer fervently desiring and looking forward to motherhood. But in the day-in-day-out, moment-by-moment, I am easily distracted. I'm not doing a very good job remaining focused on those things which will directly build up my goal.
Recently, I read a comic that basically goes like this:
"I've got to do my resume. Got to finish it today.
Oh, look! An e-mail. Gotta' read it.
There's a link to a YouTube video.
Gotta watch it.
Cool. I'll look up more like that.
That's interesting, I'll research that..."
He Googles this, researches that, blogs about this, Facebooks about that (is that really a verb?).
Then he reminds himself that he is actually there to finish his resume.
Then: "Oh, look! An e-mail!"
His goal never shifted, but—boy!—was he distractible! That's me. ;)
So, in application, I think I'd better post this, get off my computer, go find some people shorter than myself (which would be very difficult if I didn't have so many little sisters), and invest in their lives thereby investing in my future and the little futures God will give.
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